FORGIVENESS

For many people who have been hurt by another, forgiveness is next to impossible. It is impossible to live this life on earth without getting hurt, mistreated, misunderstood, wronged, rejected, lied to or offended. Many of us don’t know how to forgive, because we don’t know what forgiveness really is. Let me explain what forgiveness is not, before I explain what forgiveness is.


Forgiveness is not…

• Forgiveness is not forgetting: We can’t pretend it didn’t happen. It did happen, and we need to retain the lesson learned without holding onto the pain. The word “forget” does not mean to “put out of one’s mind in the Bible, it means to “let go.” It means that we are not going to allow the experiences of the past to dominate our future and to prevent us from becoming all that God has planned we should become.
• Forgiveness is not avoidance: Forgiveness is not making light of something we find hurtful. It is not saying, “it doesn’t matter” by not acknowledging the wrong that was done. That is being dishonest. We must recognize the wrong done & choose to forgive.
• Forgiveness is not excusing: Forgiveness is not denying that the one who has caused the hurt is responsible for their actions. We excuse a person who is not to blame. We forgive because a wrong was committed.
• Forgiveness is not giving permission to continue in sin: Forgiveness is not giving permission to continue hurtful behaviors; nor is it condoning the behavior in the past or in the future.
• Forgiveness is not reconciliation: Forgiveness may lead to reconciliation or it may not, but they are not the same. We have to make a separate decision about whether to reconcile with the person we are forgiving or whether to maintain our distance, while choosing to still release to them forgiveness.

What is forgiveness then? In the New Testament “to forgive” literally means to “let go” or “cancel a debt.” It is to let go of the person who has offended you and to cancel all wrongs done against you by choosing to not recall a person’s sins to mind against them. Forgiveness is letting go of the need for revenge and releasing negative thoughts of bitterness and resentment. Genuine forgiveness–pardoning an inexcusable, devastating injury–is a miracle. Forgiveness is the miracle of a new beginning. It may not take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury. It does not ignore the possibility and need for repentance and a change in the relationship. Forgiveness is a choice–a faith decision–not to hold a sin against a person any longer. How do we do this?

• Forgive others because you have been forgiven: No one is perfect. Jesus said, “Let he who has no sin cast the first stone.” He said this when a woman was caught in adultery and others wanted to punish her sinful act. God has forgiven us, therefore we must not judge others, but forgive others.
• Forgive others by faith not feeling: Forgiveness is an act of faith. It is a choice of our will, not our emotions. By faith we forgive by trusting God to give us the strength to do what He commands us to do.
• Forgive others because un-forgiveness only hurts yourself and others: When we choose to forgive, we are releasing ourselves from the negative feelings of bitterness, hatred, resentment and anger that hurt us mentally, physically and emotionally. Also, when we choose to forgive the one who hurt us, it releases them to find repentance and healing from their sins.
• Forgive others by speaking it out loud: Forgive the offender by saying “I release you. I let you go. I let go of this offence. I cancel your debt. You owe me nothing now. I renounce my desire to get even with you. God has forgiven me, so I now forgive you.” Amen.

It has been said that forgiveness is the only way in which the power of sin in the world can be absorbed, neutralized and brought to nothing. As Christ has forgiven us may we extend forgiveness to others who have caused us pain; forgiveness is giving up the right to hurt you, for hurting me. Let’s choose to forgive today it will make Hong Kong and the world a better place. Forgiveness is love, and love is freedom.