Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Rebellious Child

What can you do as a parent to better parent your rebellious child?

1. Spend quality time with them ~ to young people LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E. It doesn’t matter how much money you give them (my dad always gave me money when he saw me, but it didn’t mean much because he was absent most of my life). You can show your children you care, by taking out time from your busy schedule to be with your son/daughter in a meaningful way.

2. Learn to truly listen ~ many times we just tell or as Asian parents yell at our children for things we don’t like or agree with that they are doing. To a young person, being scolded at, yelled at, or told what to do is the worst way to change them. If we want to get gain their heart, we must first listen to them with our ears. Young people want to be respected, heard, and trusted. When you listen to them, they will know that you truly care, understand where they are coming from and know that you ultimately want the best for them. When they feel listened to, they will be open to listening to you. If you don’t listen, their hearts will become bitter, frustrated and resentful which leads to rebellion.

3. Be supportive of their decisions ~ I’m sorry to say this, but you can’t control your children to do everything you want them to do for you. Young people always complain to me, “Pastor Jaeson, my parents are forcing me to become a doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc and I am so unhappy and angry because they won’t allow me to do what is on my heart.” I know we all want the best for our kids, but the very best thing you can do as a parent is tell your son/daughter that you support them in the decisions they make. Even if sometimes it means they will learn only through making a mistake. It is good and wise to give a child advice, but make sure you are not trying to control their every decision. They will feel boxed in, suffocated, and react through rebellion. A child needs to know they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are. They need to know it is okay to fail, and they will still be loved if they don’t meet their parent’s expectations. Empower them to succeed, give them unconditional love and your children will love you back in return. (My mom used to think me being a ‘rapper’ was insane! But now she supports me 100% and I love her for it!)

4. Pray for them like crazy ~ There is nothing more powerful in this world than prayer. When all else fails, get on your knees and ask God to change and transform your son/daughter to become who He has created them to be. There is no prayer too big or too small that God can’t answer! (God answered my mom’s prayers and He will answer yours!)

I pray and hope this helps you to become a better parent and understand your teenager or young adult better. I love my dad and mom. They are not perfect, but little by little they are learning to let me be me and in turn, I love them back for their support and unconditional love.

Blessings,

Pastor Jaeson

this is a gud advice n preference to parent who care about their rebellious child!

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